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[No matter when, Yuigahama Yui's gaze is as warm and gentle as
always]
That day, an unusual snow fell. It does not usually snow in Chiba. The
wet clouds that flow forth from the Sea of Japan were obstructed by the
many mountain ranges that form the back bone of Honshu.
Thus, when the snow does fall, the dry winds from the side of the Pacific
that normally accompanies it will assail the particularly flat plains of
Chiba. However, it can occasionally snow at an odd timing in this way.
In my 17 years of experience, I have encountered snowstorms occurring
at the start of the New Year, the Coming of Age day49, or suddenly at the
end of March. The timing could not be more unfortunate, as it coincides
with Komachi’s school entrance exam. Fortunately enough, the wind
was not blowing.
The flower petals were fluttering about in the dancing snow.
Clad in her usual school uniform with her coat and mufflers, she wore
her gloves and her feet was decked out in a pair of leather boots. She
was more than well-prepared as she set off from the doorway. It was
still far from her exam time, but it was probably for the best, owing to
the traffic congestion that I fear will probably occur.
“Do you have the entrance exam label? What about your eraser,
handkerchief and pentagonal pencil?” 50This pentagonal pencil was
amongst one of the several goods bought by our dad during our shrine
visit to the Shrine to pray for her entrance exam’s success.
A cross sectional view of the pencil reveals its pentagonal shape. Well,
with the exception of that, it is otherwise a normal pencil. To be frank, I
thought that an ordinary pencil would be just as easy to write with.
Afterall, the sides of the pentagonal pencils of test takers ’ were written
with A - E, or 1 – 5 or otherwise ア - オand some form of notation. Each
time you come across a multiple-choice question that you do not know,
you will be praying to the pencil that will determine your life. Rather, I
49 Japanese Holiday on the 2nd monday of January. To celebrate those who have reached the age of 20.
50 [Yes, it exists.](http://www.amazon.com/Hinodewashi-pentagonal-pencil-A-854-B-square/dp/B00O2SV9VK)
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think it would be better to say that the pencil was created for the sake of
determining your life.
Komachi took one last brief glance at her bag, and gave an energetic
nod. With that, she tilted her umbrella and gave a salute.
“I’m set! Well then, Onii-chan, I will be on my way now!”
“Oh, off you go then. Watch your step.”
“Okay. Brrrrr, it’s cold. Sin, cosine, tangent… Ah, it does not appear to
come to this.”
Shivering, she seemed to be humming a tune whilst blurting out
something as she trudged along steadily. As I sent her off, there was
that small bit of anxiety in me. She’ll probably be all right. I wonder if
too much studying was the cause of this strange high-spiritedness in
her…
In any case, it was finally time to welcome the day of the entrance
exams. After having come this way, there was nothing left to do but to
struggle. Though the actual time for it has not arrived, struggling and
writhing as we approached the deadline for the exams has become a
norm in this world.
Speaking of things that I could do, there was nothing left I could do but
to offer my prayers, and leave it up to the Heavens.
The low-hanging massive clouds was a sign that clear weather was not
going to be coming soon, just the sound of heavy snowfall with the
white snow falling from the sky. It seems like it was going to snow the
whole day long.
I shivered at the cold, and started to walk back to my house. At that
time, once again, I shivered as I walked.
I reached into my pocket to discover the source of the vibration, to find
out that it was an incoming call. The display indicated that it was from
[★☆Yui☆★]. Yuigahama. From the time this contact was first entered,
it has not changed, and it has stayed that way ever since.
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I was troubled for several seconds over whether I should pick up the
call. However, the call continued on uninterrupted and my hand phone
continued on vibrating. Giving up, I pushed the Answer button and
held it gently to my ear.
“… … Hello”
At the instant I spoke, I heard a cheerful voice replying from the
mouthpiece at the bottom of my phone.
“Hikki, let’s go on a date!”
“…. … Huh?”
The first thing that she said wasn’t any form of greetings or anything,
but a few unexpected words. I was left dumbstruck by her whilst a high
pitched “Pshhh – tsuuuu” escaped from the side of my mouth.
Since receiving the phone call, I slowly began my preparations to leave.
Just as I was about to leave, I took a glance at the traffic information on
my smartphone just in case. It seemed that the congestion on the route I
am planning to take was easing up now. At least, there wasn’t any need
for me to worry about reaching the meeting place on time now.
In practice, the Kanto transportation network was really pathetic when
dealing with snow. This was especially so in Chiba Prefecture, thanks to
the Edo River and the Tone River that surround the borders of Chiba
prefecture. Since having a bridge over them was not possible, this island
is seriously going to become a lonely island. At this rate, there was the
risk that would be a proclamation of the establishment of the
[Independent state of Chiba]. Even when I went outside, the weather
looked the same as always, the asphalt was becoming frosty owing to
the snow that had started to accumulate.
The extent of snowfall was still not deep enough to trip me up, but it
was easy to slip on it due to its sherbet-like condition. 51I walked slowly
on the road to the bus stop whilst following the tracks made by car
51 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzysWK5cWeI
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wheels and footprints. It took a while to transfer from the bus to the
train. One could view the ocean from the train’s windows. From the
window, I could see the snow falling lightly, drifting from the right to
the left. The sun was at a great height, and shone through the grey
cloudy sky, illuminating it with a shade of white.
The routes along the coasts were somewhat crowded. This was not just
due to the weather. That route was usually crowded whenever there
was an event. For example, at the Makuhari Messe52, there could be a
Game Show or a Motor Show, or a big site where the Comic Market(See:
Comiket) resides, or a live event at the Shin-Kiba station. It was at those
times whereby it would be particularly congested.
Above all, one station along this route, was home to Japan’s grandest
attraction. It was an establishment known as the Tokyo Disney Resort,
or TDR in short.
Especially since today was Valentine’s Day.
Even though it was snowing, it still appeared to be receiving a great deal
of customers. I pricked up my ears to listen to the conversation between
the couples that were on the same train as me. What’s up with them
being all romantic? They look like they even welcome this snowfall!
Indeed, for a Valentine’s Day date, I guess it was an undisputedly good
situation to be in.
Soon, in the direction of the train’s movement, a white castle and the
rising plumes of smoke from a volcano 53 came into view. An
announcement inside the train informed the passengers that the train
would be stopping at the next station, and the train began to slowly
decelerate.
52 [Makuhari Messe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makuhari_Messe)
53 Volcano -> Tokyo Disney Sea. Part of the Tokyo Disneyland Resorts.
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With a dull shake, the train came to a halt. The door opened with a
Pshhh-tsuu sound. The cold air and the snow blew into the
compartment, and then the couples that had boarded before me
disembarked. Then, the doors closed and a bell echoed. The
characteristic “Disney” music of the train station was used as the
melody for the train’s departure. As I listened to it, the number of people
in the train gradually diminished, allowing me to lean against the train’s
door. The white castle and the active volcano gradually became more
distant, fading away from my left eye’s vision.
Today was not the day I got off at this station.
At one time or another, I had the vague notion that one day or another,
we would surely visit this place together, but it didn’t happen.
The unspoken promise, the words that were exchanged no longer took
the form that it was supposed to be. With a few changes, it shall still be
carried out. The meeting place where new promises would be
exchanged, lies in the one station ahead.
Passing the big bridge, through the river near the border, an enormous
Ferris wheel came into view. Indeed, it truly is Japan’s largest Ferris
wheel.
I recalled the phone call from this morning. It was not out of
bewilderment nor surprise that I did not reject the unexpected words
that came out from her mouth. In the first place, the one who first
invited her was me. [S1EP12, S2EP9] This was just a continuation of
what I have had always procrastinated.
There was no particular reason to reject her.
However, was this really okay? Such a doubt suddenly flashed across
my mind. As I searched for the answer within, the velocity of the train
dropped. Regardless of my purpose for thinking about it, the train’s
motion stopped suddenly with one large jerk, along with my thoughts.
Exiting from the ticketing gate, the large Ferris wheel leaped into my
vision. From the water fountain piazza at the front of the station, one
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could see what I would definitely say was one of Japan’s largest Ferris
wheel. The appeal was amazing when you looked at it up close.
I moved serenely through the flickering snow.
With a sidelong glance at the huge Ferris wheel, I began to trudge along.
Thanks to the fact that this place was small since it was intended for
families, one could not possibly get lost in here. Checking the memories
of that time against the information on the information board, I hurried
towards the destination.
Proceeding along the long main street that leads to the seaside, a dome
shaped structure eventually came into view on my left. Below it was the
entrance hole to the aquarium.
The place that we were meant to meet was there.
Upon reaching underneath the roof of the building, I closed my
umbrella. Taking a brief look at my surroundings, I then broke into a
run.
There were not many people here even for a weekday. Thanks to that, I
immediately spotted the figure of Yuigahama who was clad in a blue
coat.
“Hikki!”
She was probably on the train before me. Yuigahama was walking
towards me, calling out my name, and waving the pink colored plastic
umbrella in her hand.
I nodded in reply to her and trotted slowly towards her.
However, my feet suddenly came to a halt.
“… … Ah”
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The hem of a grey colored coat was fluttering behind Yuigahama.
The one person who stood directly behind Yuigahama turned to face
me, her eyes wide open in surprise.
“Hikigaya-kun… ….”
The murmur came from Yukinoshita Yukino. Why was she here? I
wondered doubtfully as the two of us faced each other.
“Yukinoshita came here as well?”
It was plain to see without us having to say it. The situation was hard to
comprehend. It seemed to be the same for Yukinoshita as well.
Yuigahama caught a glimpse of Yukinoshita twisting her body
uncomfortably. Then, she opened her mouth anxiously.
“Uh, Um…… If, if you two had plans, then I shall go back… ….”
“It’s fine! Let go have fun together!”
With that, Yuigahama held onto Yukinoshita’s arm, who looked ready to
go back at any moment. At the same time, she tugged at my sleeve.
Yuigahama bent downwards, took our hands and pressed them tightly
to her chest.
“I want the three of us to go together……” The sound of her murmur
ended with a whisper. With her eyes lowered, I had no way of telling
her facial expression. However, the beseeching tone in her voice was
more than sufficient to convey her desires. Yukinoshita and I looked at
each other, both of us were at a loss for words. Yukinoshita’s gaze
continued to wander about and she let out a bewildered sigh.
Nevertheless, after considering how Yuigahama was lifting her head
and her looking at us with such a gentle expression in her eyes,
Yukinoshita nodded along with a small sigh. And then, Yuigahama
turned her gaze towards me.
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Seeing that the two of them had no particular objections, I had no
objections either. However, there was just one thing that I wanted to
hear. I hesitated to ask her directly, and averted my eyes from her a
little. It seemed to a terribly awkward thing to ask now after all this
time. The words that could smooth it over just wouldn’t come.
Somehow or another, I managed to open my mouth and squeezed some
words out.
“… … This, is this really fine?”
“Yes, this is fine” Yuigahama replied immediately.
Without averting her eyes, she looked at me directly, her expression was
one that looked forced.
There was no hidden meaning behind the words in my question, it was
straightforward. This was probably true for her reply as well. No, I
wonder about that. I wondered if there really was no further meaning
behind those surprisingly simple words. No matter which was it, if this
was Yuigahama’s wish, then I don’t really have any reason to object to it.
“I see.”
“Yup! There is no need to worry about the snow here. It would be great
if everyone here can have fun!” Yuigahama puffed out her chest proudly
in reply. Indeed, if you say that everyone could enjoy themselves here,
then this place was probably the appropriate place to be.
That place, it seems to be a little bit of a bother to go there as three.
That’s why, just maybe, once more on another day. That day will
probably come whereby I have to fulfill the promise.
“Okay, let’s go.”
The place here today, belongs to everyone.
In the distance, I noticed the glare of the sun shining through the glass
dome. Despite the many sheets of glass that made up this dome,
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unfortunately, looking at the weather, the light from the sun seems to
have gathered. Coupled with the tall ceiling, it gave off a feel of
considerable brightness. An escalator went around the side of the
Aquarium Park, continuing on in a descending fashion, towards the
bottom where it was dark.
The light on the ground that appeared in the distance was like those
found in the cinema right before the start of a screening. The
expectations I had caused my heart to throb. And thus, after getting off
that long escalator, the first thing that I saw was the screen that
showcased the large water tank ahead. Wow, this is really big,
Yuigahama said so upon seeing it and ran towards it with a light pitter-
patter of footsteps.
“Sharks!” Yuigahama was talking about the sharks in the tanks. There
were Blacktip reef sharks and other varieties it seemed. Nonetheless, the
blacktip reef shark, in spite it sounding like a tuna, it really isn’t one. It’s
a shark. A super shark. 54Also in the same tank, there were sea breams
and flounders dancing. If you wanted to see something else, there were
also the stingrays and sardines. Yuigahama went about the tank happily,
peering through the camera’s lenses to take pictures. And now, she
faced sidewards. “Ehehe” she laughed and pointed once more to the
tank whilst saying “Sharks!”
“Sharks, is it?” Yukinoshita caught up to her with a perplexed
expression that was not missed by Yuigahama. Her voice was
interspersed with some sense of awe. Thereupon, Yuigahama went
“Ahaha” with an awkward laugh whilst gently stroking the bun of her
hairstyle and approached Yukinoshita without hesitation.
“Yukinon, sorry for not telling you about this. Come on, let’s get our
spirits up!”
“Even if you say that… ….”
54 Wordplay. Blacktip reef sharks = [ ツマグロ]. Tuna = [マグロ]
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I stood in front of the tank, indifferent to their conversations. Yuigahama
just stood there silently.
Freaking sharks. Sharks were awesome. I looked on dreamily. The view
that was floating in front of me was one that was remarkably calm,
moreover, one that had the appearance of elegance.
A scalloped hammerhead. Thanks to it characteristic form, there was no
need for me to go the extra mile to read its information board to know
its name. Those who were guys, they had at least been attracted to
sharks once in their childhood. To put it more precisely, it was a time
whereby we really love things such as the dinosaur or ocean pictorial
books.
Hikigaya Hachiman. When I was three, the dinosaur that I liked was the
Triceratops and my favorite deep-sea fish was the barrel-eyed fish. I
was definitely a boy when I said things like that. I was staring at the
tank so intently that an unintentional “Oops” leaked out of my mouth. I
was really like a young boy who was entranced by the show windows’
trumpet. 55The feeling of Tutti! It totally captivated me. 56
“Woah!.… Hammerhead sharks! Eh what, you are allowed to take
pictures in here?” Whilst pointing my finger at the shark, I listened to
Yuigahama who was nodding her head and going “Uh-huh” like an
elder sister.
Wow, so it’s really fine to take pictures huh. Pasha-pasha, went the
camera shutter. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Yuigahama
walking with small quick steps towards Yukinoshita. Then, she
whispered into her ears.
“Look! Even Hikki is enjoying himself as well.”
“Haaa…. …”
Yukinoshita exhaled a sigh that sounded like she had given up.
55 Probably a reference to the manga by Rieko Saibara about Louis Armstrong.
56 Hibike Euphonium reference(?) トゥッティ！私たちが心を奪う is the ED opening line. In the LN it's, ト
ゥッティ！って感じ。めっちゃ心奪われる.
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At this point, the whispered conversation next to me ceased to be heard.
Noticing the unusual silence, I stole a sideways glance. Pressing her
hand to her forehead whilst staring fixedly in my direction, our eyes
met.
“Wh… … What?”
Embarrassed that I was actually focusing on them so intently that I
could listen to their conversation, Yukinoshita swept away the hair by
her shoulder smoothly. Then, she gave me a smile to tease me a little.
“It’s nothing. I was just a little surprised, that’s all. I could take a photo
of you with the sharks.” With that said, she stretched out her hand.
Apparently, it looked like I would be getting a commemorative photo of
the Scalloped Hammerhead shark if I passed her my phone.
“Seriously? I can boast about it to Komachi then”
Taking up on her offer, I gently passed her my phone, taking great care
so as to not touch the screen with my fingertips.
“Hammerhead shark. When the hammerhead shark comes, press the
camera shutter! It would be good if you could do it when the shark is
seen from the side, so that the hammer portion is visible. “
“It’s surprisingly that you are so detailed in your specification……”
Yukinoshita gave a frown whilst taking several shots as though it was
some form of challenge. What on earth was so funny that had
Yuigahama, who was just beside me, grinning away?
“How are these pictures?”
Looking at my phone that was returned, it was there as I had specified,
there was one photo taken that seemed to be the best timing, where I
looked as if I was being completely swallowed by the hammerhead
shark.
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“Oh-ho! These are great!”
“I see. That’s great to hear.”
A breath leaked out from Yukinoshita, one that seemed a little tired
mixed with relief. Yuigahama held on to Yukinoshita’s arm tightly and
gave it a few light tugs.
“Okay then, let’s go on the next one!”
“… … Okay”
Returning her smile, Yukinoshita followed Yuigahama. Yukinoshita was
reluctant about it at the start, but this Aquarium Park had surpassed her
expectations and she was now keen on it. Bidding farewell to the
hammerhead sharks that I was reluctant to part with, I followed the two
of them from behind.
In the Aquarium Park, since it was a weekday, there were just a sporadic
amount of people. I could see the occasional quiet old couples, couples
who brought along their babies, the others were young females with
their friends and people who were relatively quiet.
If this was the weekends or holidays, this place would probably be
jammed with children and their families.
The gloomy area was illuminated with a number of the water tanks. In a
spectacle like this filled with several theatres, everyone seemed to be
naturally keeping their voices low. We were no different. I let out a cry
of amazement when I saw the impressiveness of the giant water tank
that housed the Bluefin tuna.
The “Seas of the World” area was divided into various groups. The
water tank which contained the fishes of the Southern Ocean captivated
me with its dazzling display.
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Nature’s grandeur, power and beauty. When we saw the spectacle in
front of us, we couldn’t help but to say words like “Amazing”, “Pretty”
and “Looks Delicious”. Wait, what… looks delicious? .......
There, of course, there will be those who think differently.
Anyway, when Mr Fish-san passed by in front of us, Yuigahama
stopped walking suddenly. Enticed by her movements, Yukinoshita and
I stopped as well. At a glance, it appeared to be a rather dark and simple
fish tank, a far cry from the much more colorful fish tanks in the
surrounding.
Here, light did not shine through, and thin strips of wood were stack up
on top of the soil in a solitary manner. In the midst of it, there was a fish
that seemed to be swimming about dejectedly. It gave off the feeling that
it was a nubot. 57
No, perhaps it was wrong to say that it was swimming. It was not even
moving much, it seemed to be just floating around.
“Ughhh, so gross.” Yuigahama murmured casually.
“It’s a nursery fish, apparently.”
“They live in muddy streams and don’t swim around much.”
Yukinoshita read out the explanation and then she cast a glance at me.
Why was this person looking this way? I looked at the explanation
board, the explanation is not done yet!
Oh? And they instantly gobble up prawns and stuff that happen to swim
in front of them.
“They seem to be living the ideal life……”
“You are empathizing with them?!”
Yuigahama reacted in shock to my thoughts that I unintentionally let
slip. Upon hearing it, Yukinoshita smiled all of a sudden.
57 Someone/thing with no emotion.
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“Now that you mention it, this fish, it does resemble someone. Right,
Hikifishy-kun?”
“We are totally not alike. Neither are our names.”
Why was she smiling at me? Well, it seems that the nursery fish’s other
name was Komoriuo. I guess that would mean that the fish is a baby-
sitter. 58If that’s the case, then I was nothing like these Hikikomori fishes
…… No, babysitting is actually an awesome idea too, for me.
I love small kids!
With an escatatic expression and some giggling, she spoke in a cheerful
tone.
“Ugggh, gross.”
“Don’t say they are gross, they are trying their best to live.”
Are we not from the same planet? I mean, this person seems to be a bit
too happy saying that……. As Yuigahama continued to be engrossed in
the nursery fish, Yukinoshita squatted down beside her. The two of
them then exchanged words such as “Gross, isn’t it?” and “Disgusting,
right?”
Then, Yuigahama smiled suddenly.
“But…… they are kind of cute isn’t it?”
“I don’t know if you could label them as cute, but they certainly are
endearing.”
And with that said, Yukinoshita and Yuigahama met each other’s gaze
and both chuckled.
“I am pretty sure “cute” is out of the question after calling them
gross…….”
58 Wordplay on the fish's name. コモリウオ and baby-sitter( こもり) The latter is the hiragana version of コモ
リ
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More than anything, nursery fishes sure had a disgusting face. Are you
sure you are really calling that “cute”?
I totally don’t understand girls and their sense of “cute”. Isn’t that so?
Her behavior was cute or her hairstyle was cute or her voice was cute.
Wasn’t this what guys say when they are introducing the girls at a mixer
or their friends? Wasn’t this just a roundabout way of saying that they
are actually not cute at all? I have sort of seen that kind of thing on the
net. Seriously, you really can’t believe girls when they say something is
cute.
The porcupine fish with the clownfish. Seahorses, leafy sea-dragons.
The left-eye flounders on the left with the right-eyed flounders on the
right. Lastly, the largehead hairtail, the Japanese sea-lily……
Following the usual route that was linked to the outside, we saw a large
number of deep sea fishes from the “Seas of the World” exhibit.
Due to us having spent some time in the long, dark area, it was most
unfortunate for us when the sun came dazzling through. After exiting
the automatic door, we arrived at the outside hallway, where the cold
breeze from the sea caressed our cheeks. At the same time, I was met
with a wave of strong fragrance.
This seems to be the place where tide pools make a reappearance. The
crabs, acorn barnacles, or perhaps the starfish was just some of the many
creatures that could be found on the seashore. One could gaze at the sky
if one was to continue walking forward as they would exit out from the
roof. The snow now was not heavy, and it was considerably lighter,
flickering about. Moreover, after hearing that the weather’s fickleness
was due to the influence from the recent cold wave, I didn’t know what
to expect anymore. In any case, as of this time, the weather this
afternoon seems to be good, which means we didn’t need to worry
about it.
“Ah, it seems that there is a crowd gathered there.”
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Just as I was worrying about the weather, Yuigahama who was walking
in front of us, turned around and point her finger at the front. Just
exactly how many people were gathered in front? The raised voices
coming ahead sounded like they were having fun with shouts of
“Kyaaa” and “Waaa”.
“Let’s go and have a look.”
Saying that, we went to the area to see what spot it was that was causing
such a stir. The pathway outside that was along the side led to a small
and long pool that resembled the fish tank from indoors. However,
unlike the other fish tanks, it was not covered. The water surface was
exposed to the surrounding air. At a glance, the explanation board on
the wall had the words “Touch them gently with two fingers” written on
it.
Apparently, this seemed like a place whereby you could have the
experience of touching the animals. Eh, what kind of sea creatures am I
allowed to touch, I wondered as I peered into the water tank.
Sharks. Once again, it was the sharks in there.
The tiny variants of sharks and rays were swimming about lazily in
there. Looking at the explanation board, I saw the words イヌザメ
(Brown banded bamboo sharks), ネコザメ(Japanese Bullhead sharks), 59,
stingrays and pitted stringrays written on it.
“Hey, Hikki, it’s a catshark!”
Yuigahama struck my two arms excitedly, whilst looking intently at the
catsharks. And so, every now and then, she touched it with her fingers.
It didn’t give any particular response, but rather just remained there
quietly. Soon, Yuigahama nodded her head as though she was
convinced of something.
59 Their names may suggest catsharks and dogsharks, but they actually both belong the same group of
"catsharks".
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‘……. It kind of feels like Sable!”
How? Because it’s also light-brown in colour? This shark, it totally does
not feel like a dog okay? I mean, this resembles your dog? Are you sure
this is really a dog? Isn’t this a shark? However, I had no idea why they
are called cat-sharks. Cocking my head in puzzlement, it seems like
there was one more person who had the same question as me.
Right beside me, Yukinoshita was stroking her chin, observing the cat
sharks closely. The Japanese Bullhead shark was one or two times
smaller than the brown banded bamboo sharks, its body also had a
characteristic striped pattern on it, making them easy to distinguish
from one another.
“Cat-sharks…”
Yukinoshita stood there muttering a few words, her gaze unwavering
from the swimming cat-sharks.
“It doesn’t make sense. In what way are the catsharks like a cat? Naming
them as such, surely there must be a part of them that resembles cats.”
Oh, she really just can’t help but to respond to anything that has the
word “cat” associated with it huh? Seriously, she really loves cats like
how cats loves Frisky.
Seeming to have made a resolve, Yukinoshita rolled up her sleeves and
extended her hand excitedly towards the catshark, and patted it for
quite some time. And then, she gave a contented smile all of a sudden.
“I guess it really does feel like a cat’s tongue to the touch.”
“That, is just how shark’s skin feels like, you know.”
Yukinoshita did not appear to have heard what I just said and
continuing stroking the catshark without a care in the world.
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“Cat, catshark, cat…….. “Meow”…… No, “Shaaaa”, maybe.”
“Just because they are sharks doesn’t mean they go shaaaaa”
Anyway, the main point is that sharks do not produce any sound……
Maybe, probably. With that thought, I noticed that Yuigahama seemed
to have moved on from the catsharks and appeared to be searching for a
new target. Yuigahama’s wandered about in the water.
“Ahh, there are eels here too!”
Saying that, Yuigahama simply extended out her hands with an “Eitto”.
It was just a ray, huh. Definitely was going to be a mistake. Uh-huh.
“Hyaa!?”
There, she shrieked almost instantly, followed by a swift retraction of
her fingers.
“I just touched something slimy! So slimy!”
Saying that in a manner that sounded like she was about to break into
tears, Yukinoshita was awoken from her daze about the catsharks and
rushed over to Yuigahama and asked her in a concerned voice.
“What did you touch? Hikigaya-kun? You’d better wash your hands
quick.”
Wait, what? Could you please top treating me like a ray? I don’t excrete
mucus alright? No, if the girls were to touch their hands that were
covered in sweat, surely it would most certainly resemble that of an eel?
I will be sure to wash my hands properly if I come into contact with any
girls!
However, despite saying that, one does not get many opportunities to
get to touch a shark or a ray. I too, rolled up my sleeves and began to
touch the catsharks and eels to my heart’s content.
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The coarse and slimy feel was really enjoyable. Next to me, Yuigahama
had withdrawn her hand. However, I saw that she continued to look at
the catsharks with a look of adoration.
“What? Are you sure you don’t want to stroke them anymore?”
“Yep! I think they would be tired out if I touched them too much.”
“I see, that’s so like you, Yuigahama”
I unintentionally let out a smile. Indeed, if one were to stroke animals
indiscriminately, it would probably stress them out. Our cat for
example, would give me a cat punch if I were to stroke it. I honestly
preferred that way of showing that it’s stressed out.
The words that came out of mouth were spoken ever so casually. Yet,
Yuigahama stared at the ground, avoiding my gaze and her shoulders
shook with a twitch.
“…… Just like me, I wonder about that?”
My gaze followed her. The falling snow danced as they fell, causing
ripples on the water surface. Yuigahama slowly raised her head to look
at me.
“…….I, I am not as nice as you think I am, Hikki.”
Those eyes were like telling of the distance between us, just like the
fleeting smile she wore on her face.
The whisper added as an afterthought seemed to be more of a
monologue.
Hearing that, I held my breath.
What the heck am I doing? I said that it was just like Yuigahama Yui, but
what exactly did I mean by that?
Once again, the discomfort within my body came creeping out, causing
my chest to shudder. Gripping my fist strongly, I realized I had
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probably overlooked something serious that was causing this uneasiness
to gush forth. Even so, I have to say something, but try as I might, the
right words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I saw her trembling
lips, the lonely smile on her and her cast-down eyes.
Without a voice, without anything being said, the surrounding noise got
much louder.
Therein, “Kyui~~” a high pitched cry reverberated throughout.
Upon hearing that, Yuigahama looked up, recovering her composure
quickly.
“Ahh, penguins! Hikki, Yukinon, let’s go!”
Yuigahama said that spiritedly. She called out to Yukinoshita and gazed
at her, to which Yukinoshita looked in my direction with a dazed look.
Taken aback by her, I returned her gaze. However, her eyes wandered
back and forth between us, showing her concern for us both.
“Let’s go?”
“Yup! Let’s go.”
Yukinoshita looked at her cheerfully, and returned her words with a
helpless smile. I wondered if she had overheard our conversational
exchange just now. She might have seen that expression on Yuigahama.
Yuigahama took Yukinoshita’s arm, and quickly walked in the direction
of the rocky mountain. That stride seemed to be light.
Looking at the figure from behind, it was deliberately trying to be
happy. Maybe I felt that way due to the talk that had concluded just
now. Now, was the time when the three of us would enjoy ourselves,
just like what was said.
Spitting out a breath to try and change the mood, I continued to follow
the two girls from behind.
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After walking a short while, we saw a bleak rocky mountain stretched
out in front of us. There, there were many penguins exchanging cries of
“Kyuuui” “Kyuuuu”. They were leaping into the pool with a splash or
otherwise sticking to the side of the rock to get some warmth from the
shade of it.
“Waa, so cute!”
“I agree.”
Yuigahama was in high spirits as she snapped photos of the penguins.
That smile as could be seen from the side, was from Yukinoshita who
was clicking away multiple times on the shutter discreetly.
As I expected, Penguin-san was a great hit amongst girls.
I thought they were cool as well. Despite its streamlines shape, it still
had a round figure. Its round eyes, the way it waddles about as it walks.
I was totally in love with it.
“No way, they are so freaking cute! I must send some pictures to
Komachi!”
As they approached the fence, I waited till the last possible minute so
that they filled up the screen before my camera went “Pasha” “pasha” as
I snapped their pictures.
And so, in the meantime, the flashes went off.
If Komachi sees them, then when she was done examining them, she
would be like “Komachi wants to go too!” This was logic that was self-
evident. And then I would be “Alright, let’s go then!” to which Komachi
would respond in a cute and innocent way. I would then be able to go
on a lawful date with my sister! NURUFUFUUUFUFUFUFUFU.
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Just as I had made my devious plan, Yuigahama and Yukinoshita had
already proceeded to another location. Ah, damn, they are leaving me
behind!
Concluding my photo-taking in a hurry, I chased after Yuigahama and
Yukinoshita. The two of them, proceeded along the pathway, and went
to some stairs that continued down into the half basement.
In addition to the normal route in the penguin zone, there was also a
space with a view of the enormous pool from the side. Here, one could
observe the penguins swimming about. The penguins on land
however, was showing a different style than the others. They were
walking about on the land with dull heavy footsteps. The ones in the
water were able to change direction with ease, and swimming about
with amazing speed, making it seem as though they were actually flying
about.
Upon seeing that, Yuigahama raised her voice in wonder, and
continuously tugged at Yukinoshita’s sleeve.
“Wow, amazing! Look at them swim! Doesn’t this make you think they
are birds or something like that?”
“……Uh, in the first place, penguins ARE birds.”
Yukinoshita replied in a shocked tone. As though she had a headache,
she pressed her hands against her temples. Hearing that, Yuigahama
opened her mouth like a idiot and turned to look at the astonished me.
“….. I, I knew that!”
Yukinoshita gave a gentle smile to the flustered Yuigahama, whilst I
gave a wry smile. No, I don’t really know what I am feeling right now.
After enjoying the magnificence of the penguin’s style as they swam
about, we headed back up the stairs from the half basement. From here,
we could see that the Humboldt penguins had gathered up in the rocky
mountain and were squirming about. Therein, two penguins suddenly
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caught my eye. They were intimately sticking closely to one another and
grooming their feathers, and were frequently exchange cries.
Looking at them gave a pleasant feeling. Meanwhile, I took a glance at
the explanation board in front of me. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama came
beside me and pressed their faces forward to read it, all the while going
“well now, let’s see”. I conceded the spot to the two of them and took
half a step back, whilst my eyes followed the sentences on the board.
Apparently according to the explanation board that I saw, the two
penguins that we saw that were snuggling up to each other were
husband and wife. In many cases, Humboldt penguins in captivity often
mate for life and so will continue to stay with the same partner until one
of them dies. After reading it, I looked another look at the two penguins.
It was then I realized Yukinoshita’s shoulders in front of me was
shaking, and knew that she was so gasping her breath due to her
surprise.
And so, she left the area at a quick pace.
“What’s wrong?”
Yukinoshita who had left first seemed to be in a hurry, but she
nevertheless turned halfway back to look at me upon hearing the
concerned voice.
“…...I’ll wait inside.”
With those few words, she then headed back inside the park without
looking back.
The penguin zone was an open air area. Taking into consideration the
weather, now would probably be a good time to head back inside. The
voice that told us that she would be going on ahead first, looking back, I
saw that Yuigahama was still staring at the Humboldt Penguin. With
her eyes partially closed, she gave a gentle gaze.
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“I guess we should get going.”
“Ah, umm. I want to see this a bit more before I go. I still want to take a
wee bit more pictures! ......You go on ahead!”
Saying that, she pointed her fingers at the fairy penguin’s direction and
then turned around once more to the direction of the Humboldt Penguin
with her phone. She did not appear to have any intention of using her
phone, rather, just grasping it strongly with her hands.
“…… I see.”
Seeing her in that state, I hesitated to say anything more. With that short
answer, I took one step forward, one step in the direction of the
building. The cries of the birds continued on behind me. The calls of the
two penguins now seems to be just a little sadder now.
Having been outside for such a long time, the warmth of the building
inside made me puffed out a breath. Advancing along the road from the
penguin zone, it would lead to some stairs that descended down to the
room below. There were still a couple more enormous fish tanks below.
An explanation board there had the words “Seaweed Forest” inscribed
on it. Yet despite what the sign said, all I could make out from afar was
the large giant help, swaying and waving their “arms” about, swaying
to and fro. Such big seaweed.
Other than the light brown kelp, the vivid red and green sea anemone
and the corals illuminating the area, the room was otherwise pitch dark.
There was even a bench intentionally placed in front of the water tank,
making seem all the more like a small movie theatre. Yet, there wasn’t so
much a figure of anyone sitting down there now. It was deserted to say
the least. However, in the direction of the water tank where the light
was spilling out, the faint shadow of a person standing there could just
be made out against the dark backdrop. That standing figure. There was
no way I could mistake that for anyone else.
Yukinoshita Yukino.
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Her appearance, illuminated by the dim light of the water tank in the
darkness, caused her to resemble a painting. I couldn’t call out to her.
The breath that I wanted to spit out was stuck at the back of my heart.
Therefore, I stopped walking. Noticing the break in the sound of the
footsteps, Yukinoshita turn towards my direction. She made a gesture
that vaguely seemed to be nodding her head. With that, I began to walk
towards her, little by little.
“Where’s Yuigahama?” Yukinoshita asked as though she didn’t see me
whilst gazing at the tank, even though I was right beside her.
“Taking pictures of the fairy penguins. She said she would be coming
right over soon so I should just wait here.”
“I see.”
On that note, our conversation ceased. We both simply continued to
silently gaze at the water tank in front of us. The faint light from the
giant seaweed illuminated the multicolored fish swimming about in the
surroundings. There were countless fish swimming to and fro. Like the
swaying giant kelp, they were swaying about as well, as though their
movements were dependent on it. There were small fish with bluish
scales hiding in the shadow of the seaweed. On the other hand, a
particularly flashy red fish was leisurely swimming about, without a
care in the world.
Yukinoshita’s eyes chased after the fish’s movement, and spoke all of a
sudden.
“……They seem to be really free.”
“Yup! Oh, that fish is quite big huh.”
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Yukinoshita’s small voice did not seem to be directed at anyone. It was
more of a monologue. But, I dare say we were observing the same fish. If
so, then it was only natural for me to reply to that voice. A faint breath
escaped my lips suddenly.
“If it can’t find a place to go, it won’t find a place that it belongs to. It
will hide, ride with the current or follow whatever it can, until it crashes
into the walls it can’t see.” 60
Yukinoshita gently stretched out her hand to touch the glass. However,
before long, the hand grew powerless and was quietly lowered.
Glancing at her from the side, I could not tell where her eyes were
looking, just that she was definitely looking in front.
“Which fish are you talking about?”
I did not know what she was looking at, so I had to listen.
Thereupon, Yukinoshita gave her answer immediately, along with a
seeming calm sigh.
“Myself…….”
Saying that, she touched the water tank gently once again, a lonely smile
on her face as she bent her neck slightly.
The figure of her extending her hand, it looked like she was about to be
sucked into the water and yet, she was unable to return to the place she
ought to go, owing to the obstruction by the glass wall. Just like the
bubbles disappearing, this moment was short-lived.
The room was quiet; not a single sound could be heard. The sound of the
bubbles gushing forth and bursting open could not reach us as it was
blocked by the glass. As I watch Yukinoshita stare into the water tank as
60 The words,居場所 and 寄る辺 means that it can be translated to either CR subs/ Commie Subs. I just chose
to go along with CR subs due to Hikigaya's doubt over whether she may be referring to herself.
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though she had been isolated from the world. As we stood there, the
sound of one footstep could be heard.
Turning around, I saw Yuigahama watching over Yukinoshita with a
calm gentle look. That expression on her face was one that was
anywhere between gentle and ready to burst into tears.
“Sorry to have kept the two of you waiting!”
Yuigahama gave a big wave with her hands as if just noticing us, and
called out to us with a smile on her face like always.
Exiting from the giant help exhibition, the interior of the building
quickly grew brighter. Perhaps due to the lighting at the top portion of
the wall, the glass becomes glazed and the ceilings too appeared high
up. The floor until now had appeared to be covered with a black fabric,
but now, the cream-colored wooden planking was evident. Tap,tap,tap,
thanks to those seemingly energetic steps, I could hear her walking
along nimbly. The sound of the footsteps stopped abruptly. I wondered
what she saw.
“Ah, come here, come here!”
Saying that, she beckoned for me and Yukinoshita to come. Calling out
to us, she invited us to see the numerous cylindrical shaped water tanks.
Pink and purple, marine blue. The various colours of the light-up
illuminated the jelly-fish floating and drifting about the inside of the
water tanks. Yuigahama leapt at Yukinoshita’s arms, and the two of
them watched the spectacle side by side. The water tank had a small
round window for people to look through. Hence, it was a little cramped
for three people to view it at once, thus, I took a step back to where I
could view it comfortably.
“Wow, this kind of looks like fireworks!”
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Whilst watching the wiggling shaking jellyfish, Yuigahama murmured
in a voice that was as if she was reminiscing of something.
“Oh?” However, jellyfish are jellyfish. Even as I looked closely at them, I
found myself wondering how they even resembled fireworks.
Yuigahama turned her head towards me and pointed to a spot in the
water tank.
“Don’t you see it? There, at that place. Pewwww, Bannngggg.”
The jellyfish that Yuigahama was pointing at, it had a star-shaped body.
It contracted and relaxed its body, contracted and relaxed, the same
action being repeated over and over again.
Even if you said that, I am still pretty sure that I couldn’t see the
resemblance to the fireworks.
“Oh, I get it now. Maybe if the round ones spread its body out, it would
resemble something like that.”
With that answer, Yuigahama shook her small head. And so, once again,
this time, the glass was touched again by a finger.
“That’s not it, here…….”
Saying that, she point at the jellyfish at the back with the long tentacles
protruding from its body. The long tentacles contracted momentarily,
before unfolding once more.
The lights from the light-up were sparkling. It continued to linger on
and spread throughout the water like a golden shower.
I have seen this type of fireworks some time ago.
That was during summer. In the park that was crowded with people,
several enormous STARMINE ascended into the heavens, reflected on
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the glass of the Chiba Tower’s half mirror glass. 61With the launching of
the finale, it certainly was a golden shower. The sparkling night sky, left
behind traces of that light as always. The memory of that scene. I could
see it now, right in the water tank in front of me.
In front of me, Yuigahama moved closer to Yukinoshita.
“Too close……”
“Ehehe”
Yuigahama paid no heed to her as Yukinoshita twisted her body in
bewilderment.
All of a sudden, she grabbed hold of Yukinoshita and planted herself
directly in front of the water tank.
Looking at the reflection in the glass, I confirmed that I was really
behind the two of them.
And so, Yuigahama closed her eyes for the brief moment.
“I am really glad…. That the three of us could see this, together.”
Words that sounded of relief, just like her sigh.
Those words were strange yet I am sure I understood them. Yukinoshita
tugged her jaw and nodded in agreement as well. I could not say for
sure, but I dare say that at that time, what we were all feeling, was
probably not all that different. It was an illusion that I held on to.
We came out from the bright corridor, and exited to the area with the
restaurant and shops. Turning to the left here would lead us to the
outside. It seemed like the road ended here. As it is, if one were to
ascend the stairs, then they would be back at the entrance.
61 Starmine = fireworks launched rapidly in quick succession.
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Looking back from the entrance, if one were to take the path to the right,
it would lead to the place where we first the water tanks with the
hammerhead sharks. That is to say, here was exactly one round of the
aquarium park.
“GOAL!”
Yuigahama jumped about spiritedly, and turned towards our direction.
‘Hey, let’s go for another round!”
“No way. There’s no point in visiting the same places again.”
“Y…Yes. I agree. I am kind of a little tired after all.”
In contrast to Yuigahama, Yukinoshita appeared dead tired.
Walking to and fro in this manner, it was no wonder that Yukinoshita
appeared so tired. It would be difficult for someone like her with so little
stamina after all.
My gaze shifted to Yuigahama. Would you please kindly take a look at
Yukinoshita, was what I was implying.
Thereupon, whilst Yuigahama fumbled about with the “bun” on her
hair, I could see the look of reluctance on her as we had already arrived
here on this road.
“Is that so?...... I think that it would’ve been fun. It’s not time yet
anyway……”
Yuigahama checked her watch as she said so. Then, something seemed
to have caught her attention.
“Ah!”
Raising her voice, she pointed at the enormous Ferris wheel in the
distance.
Japan’s top-class Ferris wheel. It was indeed huge.
Taking the Ferris wheel ticket from my chest pocket and flipping it over.
I read that it was 111m in diameter and 117m in overall height.
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Well, I can’t really describe how tall it actually is in reality. It is difficult
to come up with a precise analogy to describe it. However, if I had to use
one word to describe it, it would be tall. Also, scary.
The fact that I just subconsciously described it in another word in indeed
scary.
Yuigahama planned to ride the Ferris wheel as there wasn’t much of a
queue now. After purchasing the ticket, we were able to board the Ferris
wheel immediately.
And thus, the horror begins.
Thinking about it, it was about 10 years since I last rode the Ferris wheel.
Naturally, I became so anxious about it that my feet were trembling as I
walked. As the carriage of the Ferris wheel ascended, a curious sense of
adventure washed over me. The subtle swaying by the wind gave me
the feeling that I was risking my life.
“Scary…..” An unintentional whisper escaped me.
However, it was just a whisper. A gentleman will not get flustered in
front of the two of them. Then again, if I were riding this alone, I would
probably be hugging my trembling head by now.
Now then, speaking of the two of them. They were seated side by side. I
wondered how they were faring.
“Waaa, so high! Scary! I mean, this is shaking so madly!” She was
having such a fun time that she was clinging on to the windows, almost
rising out of her seat in joy. Thanks to her, my earlier whisper of “scary”
was not heard. On the other hand, Yukinoshita had turned pale. She was
not looking at the scenery outside, just staring intently at her feet.
“Weren’t you listening just now? I told you we didn’t have to do this if
you really didn’t want to.”
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Yukinoshita gave a wry smile, knowing that I would say something
along those lines. Thereupon, Yukinoshita definitely gave a gentle gaze
in my direction.
“It’s nothing…… Everyone, together…..”
She averted her gaze whilst saying that. And then, at that instant, the
view of the world below us probably entered her vision. Her voice stuck
in her throat. And then, as if pleading for help, she stretched out her
hands towards Yuigahama. She gripped her arms firmly and forced her
to seat down.
“Yuigahama-san. You can’t do that whilst in the Ferris wheel. Did you
not read the instructions.”
“Yukinon, you look scary! S… Sorry, I was just having so much
fun……”
“It’s not that I am particularly bothered by you having fun, it’s just that
certain standards have to be upheld.”
Ahaha, Yuigahama laughed as she apologized to Yukinoshita, who had
a cold expression as she chided Yuigahama. However, Yukinoshita
made no attempts to release her hold on Yuigahama’s arms.
Noticing that her hand was being held, Yuigahama returned it with a
firm squeeze, and closed the distance between her and Yukinoshita.
And then, I could see the girls pointing towards the right.
“Look, that way! Yukinon’s house is probably that way. Ah, if only we
could go closer in that direction, we could probably see it.
“It’s magificient. I think there’s more than enough to see from here.”
Despite saying that, Yukinoshita firmly refuses to move. However, she
timidly began to take a peek towards the scenery outside the window.
Haaaa, and so, she let out a sigh, one that was full of wonder and
satisfaction.
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Enticed by her, I too, looked out of the windows to survey the scenery
outside.
The evening scenery of the snow falling thick and fast over Chiba
unfolded before my eyes.
In the distance, the townscape was generously given a layer of thin
white make-up.
“It’s so beautiful…..”
I nodded my head at Yuigahama’s words. I truly felt the same way as
her.
“Ah, as expected of my Chiba~”
“Since when did they become yours?”
“For the time being. But this place here, it’s in Tokyo isn’t it.
“Edogawa is one of the 23 wards of Tokyo you know? Anyway, this
place is closer to Kasai. I highly doubt you can see Chiba from here. “
Hearing me say such a thing, Yuigahama giggled whilst Yukinoshita
smiled at me in astonishment.
And so, we continued gazing upon the view that stretched out before us,
never getting tired of it.
The usual conversation, the usual atmosphere, I thought that that was
just like us. And yet, there was this indecisiveness and uncertainly that
lingered at my feet.
The Ferris wheel gradually began its descent.
Hiding its instability, it continues to turn slowly. It does not make any
progress, just going round and round in the same location as always.
But even so, eventually……..
“……. It’s almost over.” She murmured.
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Chapter 9
The Spring, buried underneath the snow, begins to sprout
As the Ferris wheel descended, the snow continues on in a flurry.
The park's lawn was covered with a thin white layer, silently telling us
of the time that has passed by. Somehow or another, we remained silent
as we walked along the park's interior. Yuigahama walked forward,
leading the way, followed by Yukinoshita and I.
Before long, the small path begin to merge with the long and large street
from the station.
From here, if you continue on towards the left, it will lead towards the
train station. If you turn right, then you will reach the beach.
"Hey……"
Yuigahama turned around suddenly, silently pointing her finger at the
path ahead, as though asking us if we could stop by somewhere there.
It was the glass building I saw earlier on.It's name was CRYSTAL VIEW
according to the display board. Probably a viewing platform for the
Tokyo Bay I guess.
Glancing at my watch, I noticed that there's still some time before it's
time to head home. "Let's go."
I stopped and urged Yukinoshita on, and so we began walking to catch
up to Yuigahama who was waiting ahead.
And so, the two of them walked for a short while.
The viewing platform itself was already closed, but part of the terrace
was still open. We were able to view the Tokyo Bay even from there.
Snow fell into the silently swaying sea. The setting sun oozed from the
clouds.
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The faint red and deep turquoise colour brightened up the plain white.
"O!" Yuigahama cried out at the very scenery in front of her.
Yukinoshita took a few steps back as the wind teased her hair. She
pinned it down as she gazed into the distance, seemingly full of
emotions.
There was no one but us. The sea stretched out all the way in front of us.
In the distance, lights lit up the town.
Perhaps,it was a scenery that can only be seen at this instant. Slowly, the
time passed by calmly. That's why, it cannot continue on for long.
Yuigahama leaned away from the fence of the terrace, and turned to
look at us.
"What shall we do from here?"
"Go home?"
"That's not what I meant."
As I jest lightly, Yuigahama shook her head silently.
There was a serious edge to that voice. She took one step to our front
and looked at us directly.
"About Yukinon. And also, about me. About us."
The words that were shot out made my heart jump. That uncomfortable
feeling
I had always been embracing began to rapidly rear its head like a snake.
"What do you mean?" In between bouts of hesitation,
Yukinoshita enquires about the meaning behind those words.
Thereupon, rather than giving her an answer, Yuigahama gave me a
serious look.
"Hikki, here, to thank you for that time."
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And with that said, Yuigahama took something gently out from her bag.
A beautiful wrapping that contained cookies was held reverently by
both her hands.
When I saw that, I was so taken aback that I could hear myself catching
my breath. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Yukinoshita
clutching her bag, whilst weakly shaking her head. And then, she gazed
downwards at her feet. Yuigahama came in front of me by passing
through Yukinoshita's side.
"My consultation, do you remember it?"
"Ahhhh"
My reply was so soft it could barely be heard.
How could I forget it? It was mine, the Service Club's first consultation
that we had received. In the end, at that time, all I did was to use words
to confuse. The solution that I gave was a far cry from a true resolution.
And yet, despite this, Yuigahama had been trying to solve it properly
with her own strength. This, was plainly shown.
Yuigahama appeared puzzled, my hands would not move to take the
cookies, but she pressed the cookies firmly onto my hand.
There was now a weight firmly resting in my palm.
The cookies that I could see from the cellophane bag were irregularly
shaped, or had traces of burn marks or had an unusual hue to it. I could
not honestly say that it was pretty.
However, one could tell from a glance that it was homemade. From this
result, one could tell the effort and seriousness she put into it despite her
being bad at cooking.
Yukinoshita gazed blankly at the cookie in my hand and let out a mixed
sigh.
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“Handmade cookies? This, is made by you alone?"
"But it is a bit of a failure isn't it?"
Yukinoshita shook her small head as though that didn't matter at all
whilst
Yuigahama brushed off her embarrassment with a smile.
"Yuigahama-san, you are... amazing."
Her voice seemed like she was trying to be kind, or perhaps there was a
sense of longing to it. Yukinoshita looked shyly at Yuigahama.
Yuigahama returns her look with a happy smile.
"I said that I'd try it on my own. I said that I would do it my own way.
And this is what I came up with."
And so Yuigahama gave her answer. "... That's why, this is just a thank
you." With that said, Yuigahama puffed out her chest, and showed her
bright smile.
If this was about that time, then the matter should have already been
settled. What's past is past, it has already ended. I do not want to dig it
up now after such a long time. If this was about thanking me, then I
have already received more than enough.
That's why, it was illogical of me to receive this gift of thanks.
It's time to end what was already wrong in the beginning. It should still
be possible for us to start over again. If that's the case, perhaps the
feelings that were trapped inside, the answers too will change.
Supposing. Supposing if. If those feelings became anything special.
I averted my eyes from Yuigahama, and my throat let out a strangled
voice. "You have already thanked me enough"
I did not want to confirm whether it was really just a gift of thanks.
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Even so, whether it was really just a gift, I can't just accept it without
giving it a second thought.
However, I was assaulted by a sense of regret the instance I said it. From
what I could see, Yuigahama's face looked ready to burst into tears.
"Still, it's just a thank you."
Yuigahama spoke with a voice that sounded like she was being crushed
to death.
Her expression was contorted as she bit her lips lightly. To hide the
gleam from her eyes, she quickly turned her back to us.
"I want everything. Now, and from here on. I know I am unfair, mean
even."
She sulked in a low tone as she faced the sky, weaving her words. It
seemed to be a monologue rather than seeking some form of rebuttal or
answer from us. Therefore, whilst looking at her back, the least that I
could do was to listen carefully so as not to miss a single word. When
she was done talking, her white breath rose up and melted away into
nothingness. With that, she turned around and looked straight at us.
"I have already decided." Yuigahama's eyes were no longer wet, her
gaze now reflected a strong sense of determination.
"I see......" Yukinoshita's murmur betrayed a sense of resignation. I was
unable to utter even a single word.
Yuigahama gave us a small lonely smile.
"If we find out about each other's feelings, I think we won't be able to
stay the way we are now. That's why, this is probably our last
consultation. Our last request will be about us."
There was not one specific thing that she said. If she had said it out, then
that would've confirmed it for all of us. She was just avoiding the matter.
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Vaguely, faintly, she continued on without addressing the issue.
That's why, there's no guarantee that our thoughts envisioned the same
thing.
However, there is no helping it in this case, Those words only appear to
be the truth.
It was a suspicion that I had held in the corner of my mind for a very
long time. It was something that Yuigahama was acutely aware of.
And now, one more person. Yukinoshita was looking down with her
eyes closed. Her expression was unclear, but it was not one of objection,
nor was it an interrogative look, just one that was listening in silence.
I think that even Yukinoshita has realized that.
"Ne, Yukinon, that contest we are having is still on right?"
"Yes, the loser will have to listen to whatever the winner says."
Yukinoshita answered in bewilderment as she had not anticipated such
a question.
Thereupon, Yuigahama touched Yukinoshita's arm softly, faced her
directly and said clearly.
"The problems that Yukinon is facing right now, I know the answer."
With that she patted Yukinoshita's arm softly.
The problems that plagues Yukinoshita, they have always been the
reason behind her actions and words. More than anything else, Haruno
Yukinoshita had clearly stated it. The Yukinoshita Yukino of today,
what's the best way to help her? I do not know. What could it be? The
relationships with her mom, her sister? It could probably be one of them,
then again, it probably would be one of them.
Yukinoshita hung her head in bewilderment. I don't understand, she
murmured in a fading voice.
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Yuigahama nodded her head gently and her hand left Yukinoshita.
"I think it is probably the answer for us as well." In the end, I still did not
get it. Neither me nor her.
If I understood it, then it would probably fall apart. The things that we
have been ignoring would slowly fall apart.
Hence, no matter what the end is, it is inevitable that something will be
lost.
In conclusion, the solution lies in the road ahead.
Yuigahama once again cut off her words and shook her small head.
And so, in addition to that, we found ourselves suddenly staring at each
other.
"If I win, I'll take everything. It's probably unfair. But it's the only thing I
can think of. I want things to always remain this way."
That's why, the answer that Yuigahama gave at first, it disregarded
conditions, assumptions, equations, everything. It was just one of the
obvious conclusions.
For example, even after all the processes, no matter what situations may
await us, even if it would be impossible to reach an agreement, at least
our answer would not change. It may seem like a lie, but those fun times
would always continue on.
"What do you think?"
"What do I... That is...."
I choked on my words as I was posed that question by Yuigahama.
In retrospect, even if it means resorting to twisted methods or distorting
the truth, I would still have held on to my answer, I would still have
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done it. Even if it's impossible under normal circumstances, as long as I
was compelled, no, as long as I could justify it, then that wish would
come true.
If I had made such an excuse, I would surely have convinced myself. I
think that if times like this could continue on, then surely a little bit of
discomfort for the sake of our happiness would be worth it.
Above all.
Yuigahama is probably not wrong. I have a hunch that she had always
seen the right answer. I think that it would definitely be easier to just
accept it. However....
Is leaving the incorrect things the way they are the right thing to do?
Surely, that is the truth that we are seeking?
Yuigahama looked on kindly as I gnashed my teeth attempting to
answer her. Following that, she gently took Yukinoshita’s hand.
“Yukinon, is that OK?” Yuigahama posed the question to her like a
mother asking her child.
Upon being asked, Yukinoshita’s shoulders trembled. “Wa ta, shi wa…”
She averted her eyes to escape Yuigahama’s gaze. Even so, she was
unable to give a proper response. Her thin voice faltered as she tried to
craft her reply.
The instant I saw the state she was in, I knew it then. Ahh… this is
wrong. She is wrong.
Yukinoshita shouldn’t be entrusting her own future to someone else.
There is no way that that can be right. Yuigahama is an unfair girl, but
surely, saying such a thing can’t be right.
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“Even so, I…” “No.” I interjected.
Yukinoshita looked at me in surprise upon hearing my slightly raised
voice.
“I cannot accept this proposal. Yukinoshita should solve her own
problems herself.” Clenching my fists suddenly, I faced Yuigahama. I
saw Yuigahama’s mouth tensing up, with an unusually cold look in her
eyes.
Yuigahama Yui is a nice girl, I had decided that for myself willfully.
Yukinoshita Yukino is a strong girl. I had forced that ideal onto her.
Having said that, I have always been relying on their kindness.
However, this is exactly why, this reliance must end. I can no longer run
away from that kindness or repay it with a pack of lies. After all, that is
why Yuigahama Yui is a nice girl and Yukinoshita Yukino is a strong
girl.
“Besides, that’s nothing but… deception.” The words that I spat out
disappeared to the waves. And just like a cycle, the waves continue to
surge forward, being pulled along continuously. No one made any
sound.
Yukinoshita looked at my moist eyes and her lips trembled whilst
Yuigahama gave me a small nod as she looked upon my dim eyes,
waiting for me to continue my words.
“Be it vague answers or superficial relationships, I don’t need any of
those.”
What I wanted was something else. I know that I am being an idiot. I
know that that’s definitely not it. I know how this will end, that I will
end up with nothing. But still.
“Even so, I want us to think, to writhe, to struggle. I …”
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The words that I wanted to say just wouldn’t come.
I know that this is not right. If you could say that it’s enjoyable, then I
suppose it’s all right afterall.
If in the unlikely future, we are able to lives as we like, then I suppose no
one would have to suffer. However, I want to discard away all those
ideals. I do not possess the strength to continue living in these delusions.
On top of self-doubt, I had no wish of telling any lies to those that I care
about greatly. That’s why, the answer that I want. I want to obtain the
answer I desire without lies.
Exhaling a hot breath, realizing that I was not going to continue on,
Yuigahama looked at me directly.
“… Hikki, I thought you would say something like that.” Yuigahama
smiled gently with a grin on her face.
At that instant, a tear swiftly flowed down her cheek. What should I do?
It would have been fine if not for the unsightly face.
Yuigahama and I exchanged glances, and gave a small nod to each
other.
Her wish and mine were not visible. However that shape that it takes
differs slightly and may not perfectly overlap. Despite saying that, it is
not definite that they cannot become one.
No matter how I looked at it, there certainly exists a link somewhere.
With that in mind, I turned and glanced at Yukinoshita.
Yukinoshita clutched her chests tightly. The teary eyed Yuigahama and
looked at each other. There was a fleeting tremble in that look of unease.
Yet, when I realized that I had been waiting all this while for her answer,
I took a small deep breath.
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“Don’t decide my feelings for me.” Yukinoshita rubbed her eyes as she
sulked.
“Also, that’s not the last of anything. Hikigaya-kun, we still have your
request.”
My request. Just as I was about to ask her about it, Yuigahama
interrupted with a faint smile. She gave a nod to Yukinoshita. They
smiled at each other as though they shared a secret known only to the
two of them.
“And, one more thing.” Yukinoshita offered a smile, and turned her ever
beautiful face towards us. As I waited for her to continue her words, she
took a step. A step towards us. One gentle step.
“My request, will your hear it?” In between bouts of embarrassment,
Yukinoshita said those words, to which Yuigahama smiled broadly.
“Sure, let’s hear it.”
With her answer, Yuigahama takes one more step forward, shortening
the distance between us, and gently held out her hand. Before long, the
evening’s setting sun and the sea casted silhouettes upon the white
canvas.
It was faint, hardly reliable and the form it took was indistinct. But they
definitely were linked, and they will definitely become one. If only, if
wishes could materialize. That is definitely……
